What is Nonviolent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication method developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg to promote relationships based on empathy, respect and cooperation, rather than judgement, blame or threats. It aims to transform tensions and conflicts into constructive dialogue by helping everyone to clearly express what they are experiencing and what they need. This method was developed in the 1960s and 1970s.

What are the steps of Nonviolent Communication?

NVC consists of four steps:

Observation: describe the facts in a concrete way, without judgement or interpretation. This is the most difficult step. Practise describing a situation without judgement or interpretation. Only describe the events as they occur, not the effect they have.

Feelings: express how you feel (sad, upset, happy, worried, etc.) rather than what you think of the other person. Here it is very important to speak in the first person because you are talking about your feelings. No one can ever question your feelings. Talk only about yourself, how it makes you feel. Do not speak in the second person.

Needs: identify the needs that are causing these feelings (respect, understanding, autonomy, security, etc.). What would you like to have instead? How would you like things to be in the future?

Request: make a clear, concrete and achievable request, rather than a demand or criticism. Make a request that shows both that you respect yourself and that you respect the other person. It is important that you leave as much room for yourself as for the other person in your request. Please also ensure that the request is concrete and achievable.

Key mindset and attitudes

Beyond the “technique”, NVC is based on a certain mindset.

Empathy: seek to understand the other person's experience without judging or advising too quickly.

Authenticity: expressing what is going on inside you in an honest but respectful way.

Mutual respect: considering that everyone acts to meet legitimate needs, even if the strategies chosen are problematic.

Areas of application

NVC can be used in both your personal and professional life.

In relationships, family life and education, it can be used to manage conflicts and improve the quality of relationships.

In the workplace, there is an identical method called DESC (Describe, Express, Specify, Conclude). The main difference with classic NVC is that at work, it is not always appropriate to talk about your emotions. To give feedback, set boundaries, say no or address sensitive issues without escalating tension, it is highly recommended to use this method.

Would you like to find out more? Contact me on 0493 37 25 25 or send me a message via my website http://www.purelanguageandcoaching.be.

See you soon,

Marcel